My mother stayed home with Spawn Part Deux while Mike and I took the day off and took Charlotte and my nephew Colin to Sesame Place. Dudes, I had so much fun. My bathing suit was up my ass after each slide I went down. I chased the kids around with sunscreen. I played in sprinklers and went on a roller coaster. Even though my truck is still broken, and the baby seems to have caught a slight cold and a bloody lip, and I haven't started shooting rainbows and unicorns wearing money hats out of my ass, we had a really nice day.
One of the highlight of the day was coming home to this from our friends John and Perry, two of my favorite people:
The card reads: We just wanted to remind you that not all Flowers are bad. They're GIANT COOKIE FLOWERS. How fricken cool are those guys?
Here are some other of my favorite pics from the day:
Me and my girl on the Lazy River. I so need one of these in my house. One that has random hot tan male attendants handing me martinis at designated spots, kind of like water boys at a marathon, only better because I wouldn't be running, I'd be lazily FLOATING down a river and it wouldn't be water, it would be top shelf vodka. I digress, huh?
Colin on a tube ride
Ice cream break!
I love this pic
How cute?
Go on, try and get the Glade Plug-in song out of your head now suckas!
Anyway, as everyone was recovering from the Day From Hell, I had yet more to endure. I had yet another eye doctor appointment since I keep getting recurrent corneal infections. It turns out the reason is because I have extremely dry eyes and this causes microscopic scratches, which in turn are beacons for infection. And since I live with the Gross-O Kids, I'm bound to pick something up.
Ok, so we need to make my eyes less dry. Drops didn't work. All different kinds of contacts didn't work. So, what did we do today? We inserted punctal plugs in my four tear ducts. This is to prevent my eyes from draining, thereby keeping them more moist. The ones he put in today are only temporary and if it makes a difference, I get permanent ones put in next week.
I think they are working. Every time I blink it feels like my eyes are re-wetting and when I close them, there's this cool sensation of moisture, which I suppose is what eyes are supposed to do. My contacts feel better in my eyes. I ultimately decided on Acuvue Oasys. They're two week wear and they feel and fit great.
I'm hoping this is one less thing for me to worry about.
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Let's talk about The Explorer Saga again. It's been two weeks now, and it's currently at the dealership because it needed a new computer, which neither our mechanic nor our engine guy could do. The engine dude - a really nice guy - took it to the dealership for repair for us since he knows one of the guys there. They called this morning and said when they went to start it, it was dead. Turns out that the fuel pump broke while there.
TOTALLY UN-FRICKEN RELATED TO THE REASON THE CAR IS THERE.
Also? It's $800 to fix. They called Dan The Engine Guy who didn't believe them and he actually drove over there to check. Yep, busted. They wanted to charge us $1200 for the fuel pump but he got the down to $800. Then, once that's fixed, they still have to fix the computer. You know, THE REASON THE CAR WAS THERE. And who knows how much that will cost - at least $400 more in our estimation.
The last thing I needed today was more bad news and now we have to find money we don't have. Money we need be to saving for our trip to Disney in October. Money that we can't spare. Money that has to pay to keep our electric on.
I just want something good to happen. I know in the grand scheme, I'm lucky and have a great life, but I just want one surprisingly good thing. Like, Oh Look! A Check in the mail! or Hey! You won a new car! Or hell, I'll even take: Hey! Nothing bad happened today!
Eh, fuck it. I'll just have another martini and be thankful I have these things to worry about.
There are some days that leave no words to accurately describe their suckiness. Starting it off by spending 6 hours in the ER with your husband (gall bladder/GI issues) after he's been in pain for two weeks and you finally make him go is bad enough. Dropping and breaking your iPhone makes it a little shittier, considering your backup cell phone is in your car. You know, the one that's STILL fucking broken at the shop and will cost at least a few hundred more dollars to fix. Money you don't have.
Running around to your allergy injection and then warehouse shopping for a baby's party alone with two kids because your husband is so sick is definitely not fun nor easy, especially around dinner time. Shoving churros in their whine-holes while you buy 50-gallon vats of mayo only works for so long. Getting the kids home and the car unloaded, getting them dinner, then running back out to the pharmacy before even you can eat to make sure you fill your sick husband's prescriptions sucks as you sit and wait, downloading all the old apps you lost on your iPhone, which you broke, remember? After 40-minutes of waiting, you get in the car, finally ready to get home, get your husband his meds and shove some food in your mouth and pass out on the couch.
Calling 911 puts that day right at the top of the Shitty Day List.
"911, where is your emergency?"
"13 This Day Sucks Lane, Howell. My daughter: she's 3. She fell backwards off a chair and hit her head about an hour ago. We thought she was okay but she's starting moving her leg seemingly involuntarily. My husband is sick and has to stay home with our infant and I'm afraid to drive her to the ER by myself and have something go wrong in the car."
"She's three?"
"Yes."
"We'll send everyone out there."
In the three minutes it took the first responder to arrive, we had gotten her blanket, dolls, slippers and juice ready to go and I was waiting outside. I explained the incident at least four different times as every one who showed up wanted the "official" story.
"She was standing on her booster seat. She pushed away from the table and instead of the chair sliding back, it tipped. She fell from at least four feet onto the back of her head. I wasn't home. I was at the store. My husband said she cried so hard, she lost her breath and was pulling on his hair, clawing at him. When I got home, she was calm and normal, albeit with what feels like someone literally shoved a golf ball under her scalp. She was playing with my iPhone when her foot turned inward and started moving, twitching. She looked at me and said 'Mommy, what's my foot doing?' That was enough to make me call you guys."
They were great with her and she was pretty much calm and happy the whole way, trying to make the experience seem exciting, rather than scary. The whole neighborhood was outside, watching me clutch my daughter and load her into an ambulance. Something I figured I'd have to do at some point in my parenting career, but hoped would never happen.
We got to the ER, they ordered a CT scan for which she was great for, and two hours later we were released with a negative CT and an order for a follow-up. Apparently, the leg thing was unrelated and may have just been a muscle spasm or cramp. But the timing was enough to send me to That Place. I'm not a panicky parent. My kids fall and I tell them to get up, shake it off, and come get a hug. I don't coddle or overreact. Kids fall. Kids get hurt. But this was different.
I didn't want to be that parent who thought their kid was fine - all kids bump their heads - and sent her to bed, only to have a brain bleed or fractured skull and have an outcome I can't even consider. An outcome whose mere thought catches my breath and squeezes my heart until I can't see straight.
This time it was just a bump on the head. A bad bump, but just a bump nonetheless.
I hope there never is a next time.
We ran out of paper plates two days ago. In those two days, the dishes have at least doubled. I emptied the dishwasher this morning and by noon - after we all ate lunch - the sink was full again. Also, there may or may not have been pygmy marmosets living in there.
Part of me feels better using real plates. Even though we use the recyclable paper plates and buy in bulk at BJs, I feel like I'm making less waste and thereby a smaller carbon footprint by using our regular plates. Which, considering we drive two SUVs makes me Hypocrita Von Asshole.
But then this conundrum starts rolling around in my head: How is it any better for the environment if I'm not putting paper plates (that would biodegrade, mind you) into the world's landfills, but instead am running twice as many loads of dishes, thereby using twice as much water and adding twice as much chemicals into our water with the detergent? (For what it's worth, we have switched all of our soap/detergents to Seventh Generation and LOVE them but still, the point stands.)
The same thing with cloth diapers. I get the concept that disposal diapers are bad and take eons to degrade but, again, what about the extra laundry to wash all the dirty cloth ones? Which by the way, after this past week of Puke and Flowers I could never do.
We also use our own bags almost every time we go to the store and I've been so good at remembering or using paper (also excellent fire pit fodder) that we completely ran out of the plastic store bags all normal humans keep under the sink.
This would be a good thing except those are what we use to line the bathroom garbage cans, the diaper bin, collect cat litter, put wet bathing suits into, etc., and now what? I had to use a regular garbage bag - easily three or four times the amount of plastic in a Target bag - for such tasks. Now how does that make sense?
I just have to be careful not to run out and when I do, make sure my next shopping trip I "forget" my bags, which I then feel BAD about. Ugh.
I just feel like no matter what I do in my family and my home to try and do good for the environment, there's always the flip side. Which is the lesser of two evils? Where is the line drawn? How can I know in the grand scheme of things I'm doing the right thing?
My high school friend Brie has started her own photography business and she is wonderful. Unfortunately, the weather was horrible making bad lighting conditions in our small house and Charlotte has just broken her leg the day before but we were able to get these three great pictures. Even though she's in a cast, I kind of like having that part of our life immortalized.
If you're in Eastern PA or she often makes Jersey trips, please go check out her website. She has great photos of families and couples, specializing in awesome outdoor shots. I can't wait for her to come back and take more.
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