Stumble It!
-You will always want another brownie.
-You will always want your mommy when you're sick, whether you're 2, 12, or 30.
-Moms know your family recipes by heart and when they recite them to you, they include words like "a handful," "a smidgen," "a wee bit," and "fuck if I know."
-Dads fix things.
-Your babies can make you smile even when you feel like crying, and vice versa.
-Only another parent will understand you when you say to your spouse, "Ohmygod, why won't she just SHUTTHEFUCKUP," about your child, while childless people gasp in horror.
-Your infant's green poop could be bottled and used to kill terrorists as a WMD.
-Martinis make the world a better place.
-The smell of Johnson & Johnson's baby lotion has crystal meth in it; that's the only reason why it's so addictive.
-Some of your friends will disappear when you have kids. You won't resent them; you'll just miss them.
-You will make new friends whose ties transcend the borders of age and distance and will bind you just as close.
-You will think you are failing.
-Your husband can make you feel beautiful, even though all you see is saggy skin and stretch marks in the mirror.
-Your toddler will get into your makeup.
-Your grandmother will get sick and you will know the rest of her life will be spent in a nursing home.
-Your mother and sister will become your friends.
-Slagathor is a funny fucking nickname.
-After delivering two children, you will pee yourself often.
-3 a.m. is 4 a.m.'s bitch.
-Your cats will puke on the only piece of rug in a whole room of tile.
-Your fridge has some weird sticky shit at the bottom, behind the produce drawer.
-You think King Triton was a bad-ass parent.
-The Hoff is the man.
-PIVOT!
If you do not get this reference, please refer to this clip:
Friday, August 29, 2008
Some things I know since becoming a Grown-up 'N Shit.
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16 comments:
Love the PIVOT!! And so much of what you said is so very true. Amen!
Word.
that clip was ridiculously funny.
PIVOT!! KILLS me.
This whole post is killing me. So true.
And you need to blog more often when buzzed.
:)
I just did the shred so I didn't have any pee left in me but IF I had I would have pee'd myself watching PIVOT and I nod and say ya-ha to every single thing on your list.
OMG, why won't they just STF up?? Must they talk ALL THE TIME?
That clip just reminded me how much I liked Friends and how much I miss Chandler, in particular.
Oh these were so good escpecially the one about 3 am. That made me laugh out loud!
This is when I question: Why are they not bringing FRIENDS back instead of 90210? PIVOT is hilarious. In fact, I pretty much just did that--the Chandler part of course--with my 5-year old who was crying that his towel didn't fit only because he had it on at an angle. WHY DO THEY ALWAYS DO THAT? AHHHHHHHHHHH!
Right before reading this I was looking at the weird sticky shit at the bottom of my fridge, behind the produce drawer, considering how it might have gotten there & wondering how to clean it out & how I cleaned it out last time. I think it involved getting a paint scraper & scraping it off.
Are you alive? I've emailed a couple of times and haven't heard from you. I was getting worried.
And, you will ALWAYS want mommy.
Hehe. I think that may be my most favorite Ross clip EVER. I heart Friends. :)
And yes, I always want my mommy when I'm sick. Still.
Oh, I miss Friends. That show took me from college to after Josie was born, and in those lonely in-between times of early-morning scream sessions and being the first person I knew to have a baby, they really were my friends.
jyl - I think they're bringing 90210 back instead b/c it stunk so bad the first time, there's nowhere to go but up. Friends they could only screw up, as in Joey.
And Amen!!
I cook with smidgeons and pinches too. Drives my anal brother crazy :-)
amen sister. AMEN.
Totally true...
ANd I LOVE That episode!
That was great and right on the money! I was having a bad day - so thanks for the pick me up!
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