First day

My first day back to work was really...refreshing. I'm exhausted but I'll get used to it. Getting to bed at 11, then up in the middle of the night (which Mike does most often on the days I go into the office), and then at 5:45 am, an hour BEFORE my children, is like a cruel joke.

I'm a planner and preparer so everything I needed was mostly done the night before. My clothes and accessories were laid out. The baby's bottles were washed and ready to go. The diaper bag was cleaned out and packed up and in the car. The check was written and in their folder. I switched purses from Giant Mommy Bag to Cute Little Handbag and put it in the car, which I of course locked. Charlotte's clothes were laid out and her milk cup was ready to go in the fridge.

The morning went smoothly and I got myself together and got both kids out on time (do I get a fricken medal?) and even had five minutes to stop at Dunkin Donuts for my large French vanilla with skim milk and Splenda. I sipped it in silence as I drove to work; I didn't even realize I forgot to put the radio volume back up until I was 30 miles into the drive. I suppose I was enjoying the silence so much I didn't even notice. For those that asked, my job is 30 miles directly north of me, but the only way to go that way is a horrible set of highways with lights and douchecakes. So I go the long way - east, then north, then back west again - because even though it is 23 miles longer, it is pure interstate roads so I can drive 70-75 and I actually get to work in less time. Gotta love New Jersey.

I fell right back into my routine at the office though I was kind of thrown to the wolves with this new system we're using. But I'm stubborn and a quick learner so I'm determined I'll get better at it quickly.

I had lunch with colleagues and we didn't talk about diapers, poop, or Dora. I showed people pictures every chance I could get of my new little man and of Charlotte. People asked how he was and how I was doing, but mostly I just fit right back in. I started there over six years ago as a post-graduate still living at home, and now am an Associate Editor. Now, I'm also a wife and mother and I love those roles as well. But to them, I'm just AndreAnna.

I felt like I had reclaimed a part of me that was lying dormant and now I feel more complete. I want it all - the career, the family, the suburban home complete with baked goods, a clean floor, and folded laundry, the gym membership, the dinner and drinks out with girlfriends, the dates with my husband, the deadlines, the frustrations, the failures and successes - and I work my ass off to have it.

I can be superwoman. If I just try hard enough.