Let sleeping dogs, er, sleep

I spent most of the morning thinking it was Wednesday, which is stupid because I was home and I go into the office on Wednesdays. But that goes to show you how fried my brain is today. I'm getting used to working and my new schedule, and I'd be a big fat liar if I said it wasn't a big change from being home on maternity leave.

After dropping the kids off at their dayhome, I sat on the couch and opened my laptop to start rifling through work emails. I was going to finish checking email, take a shower, and go down to my office and start my day.

Ninety minutes later, I wake up with drool down my shirt, on my keyboard, my throat dry from my mouth hanging open, and laptop dents in my legs.

I said I was busy and loved it. I didn't say I don't get tired as hell.

There are moments in the middle of the night when Sawyer wakes up, grunting and getting increasingly more irritated that the bottle is not in his mouth RIGHTTHISGODDAMNED minute that I think I can't do it anymore. That I'm going to wake up Mike and let him have that shift. He'd take it gladly too, without question or protest. That I would bargain with someone, anyone, to just make him sleep through the night. And then I hold him and we snuggle as he drains his bottle in mere minutes and I forgot why I was so upset. And then I remember 2 hours later when my alarm BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPS in my ear and I seriously consider throwing it across the room, if only my newborn son wasn't sleeping there.

I compare my children all the time. Charlotte was colicky, Sawyer is not. She was needy, he's a very easy baby. She didn't smile or coo as early. She wanted to be held a certain way, rocked a certain way, fed a certain way. As long as he's not on fire or being eaten by turkey vultures, Sawyer is pretty content as long as he is fed, changed, and napped. However, by this time in Charlotte's life, she was sleeping through the night, from 7-6, with a quick change and dreamfeed at 10 pm. It was the one glorious break we got from a baby who was so needy, she must have known we needed the sleep to recharge. Sawyer is still up once a night, though he technically "sleeps through the night." He's down around 730 and if left alone, will sleep till 1-3, which is great. The problem with this is that I don't want to get up at 1, because that means he'll be up for the day at 5. Um, thanks but no thanks.

So we put him on the same schedule as we did with Charlotte as this age. We gently wake him before we go to bed, change his diaper, top him off with a bottle, swaddle him, and he'll sleep till around 4-430. Again, thats 6 hours, so it's technically sleeping through the night and technically wonderful because then he goes back down till 7, when Charlotte wakes up, her little toddler nose inches from mine: "Momma, I need Cheerios, STAT" Can someone tell me how my 2-year old learned to say "STAT"?

I really have nothing to complain about because he is only 9 weeks old and is doing so well, but like I said, I can't help comparing him to his sister who at 6 weeks was sleeping in 8-hour stretches.

It will come. I know it will. And when it does, perhaps I won't come within inches my my life by drooling on my keyboard and electrocuting myself.