Stumble It!
Last night, I was trying to decide on an outfit for work, taking my clothes off and on.
"Did you like the gray pants? Or the pinstripe skirt?"
"Huh?"
"Which shirt goes better with the white capris? Can I even still wear capris? White ones? I mean, it IS mid-September."
"What? We're you talking? All I heard was 'Look at my boobies. BLAHBLAHBLAH. Look at my boobies. Hey, BOOBIESBOOBIESBOOBIES.'"
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This mornings's commute was extra suckarific, stop and go for a good 10 miles. At one point, the car in front of me was cut off by another car. Because we were at a dead stop, he decided he was irate enough to actually get out of his car.
He began yelling and pointing at the cutter-offer at his window. I couldn't make out exact words.
Until the angry man took off his shoe.
"NOW YOU'RE REALLY GOING TO GET MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS!"
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I'm in my cubicle this morning, and the office is fairly silent, people too busy to do much socializing these days.
There's two coworkers talking a few cubicles in front of me about the printer jamming all the time.
"That printer and I have an understanding. It doesn't jam up for me and I don't take it outside and beat it like an ugly hooker."
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Charlotte is entranced in Max & Ruby and I am fantasizing about making a pashmina out of those fuckers.
"Charlotte, it's time to clean up for dinner. Say goodbye to Max & Ruby."
"Chillax Momma. I be RIGHT there! Jeebus."
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We're all in the kitchen, cleaning up after dinner. Charlotte is staring out of the window waiting for Fat Boy, the squirrel she feeds.
"Honey, Charlotte said 'Jeebus' before. I suppose I should be more careful. I mean, it was funny and in total context but still, I don't need her saying that to some religious zealot-type in public."
"That's okay. I let some stuff slip, too. As long as it's not too bad."
"HO! LEE! CRAP! THE FAT BOY IS HERE, MOMMA!"
I look at him, "We can never take her to a Walmart south of Delaware. We'll get shot."
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Monday, September 15, 2008
Overheard in My Daily Life
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18 comments:
"Chillax Momma. I be RIGHT there! Jeebus."
That is nothing but funny!
Look out for that Mason-Dixon Line! :)
Boy, I can't wait to hear what Mr. Sawyer comes up with!
OMG! That was freaking funny.
boobies, hookers, feet up asse, Max & Ruby, this post has it all!
You are going to get quite the google hits!
oh i beg to differ...if you took her to the walmart in my town (technically just southwest of the DE border), she would be a normal kid around here with that language...yup, she'd fit right in. Its really scary at walmart.
And "look at my boobies" - it never gets old for men. There's just one focus for them and its between my belly button and neck.
Gavin's favorite frustrated word is "Jesus." We were at a crowded Target one Sunday afternoon with everyone dressed in their church clothes (Except us heathens.) and Gavin dropped a ball we were going to buy him and all of a sudden we hear this loud exasperated "Jeeesus!" coming from our two year old. We left quickly.
We should get our kids together. We would all just laugh and laugh. On second thought they might learn really bad things from each other so maybe not.
Wait....what about that Mason-Dixon line. We're not all rednecks! :)
ROFLMAO.
That's fantastic.
That is so freaking funny! :D
That girl of yours? Will make a mighty fine trucker one of these days.
It's a damn good thing I wasn't drinking anything when reading this post....
THANK YOU for making me giggle tonight...my day has sucked ass!!
Thank you for giving me something to smile about! This day has been full of suckage.:)
Oh man....I feel for you...I can't STAND Max and Ruby! Argh....sometimes I even find myself wishing she were watching the unspeakable DORA instead....never though I'd hear myself say that!
That was the hardest I've laughed since watching PIVOT yesterday.
I am STILL laughing! Jebus! HA!
Josie whipped out 'Jesus Christ!!' in front of my MIL when she was Charlotte's age. It wasn't popular. At least, not with them. I thought it was hysterical (internally, of course!).
WTF is up with Max and Ruby?! I HATE those two. Where are their parents, for chrissakes? For the longest time, I thought Ruby WAS the mother, but then I noticed that she was in Girl Scouts or something. AND she's a prissy, bossy bitch. Yuck.
I love Charlotte!
This made me laugh out loud! I almost spewed my coffee all over the monitor!!!! You guys are FUN-ny!!!
Hehehehehe! What a riot!
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