Then and Now

Then: I'd have ten drinks a night, get up the next morning and be able to function, go to class and then work all day.
Now: I have eight drinks and can't function for more than 24 hours.

Then: I could dance all night in sexy high heels.
Now: I went back to the apartment midway through the night to put on flats and if I had orthotic granny shoes, I would have put those on too.

Then: I'd encourage my friends to dance with any guy in the bar.
Now: I laugh in the face of men who tell me they're 24 and have no job.

Then: People who were at bachelorette parties always seemed so old.
Now: That was us.

Then: I'd only throw up if I mixed drinks or ate too much before drinking.
Now: I throw up if a glass of wine looks at my martini funny.

Then: I'd find a guy for the night and dance and let him buy me drinks.
Now: I leave the bar to call home to hear my husband and babies.

Then: I'd take out my contacts, wash my face, and brush my teeth before bed, no matter how drunk I was.
Now: I've had my contacts in since Saturday and didn't shower until 7 pm last night.

Then: I could go out and drink three-four nights a week.
Now: I can go out and drink three-four times a year.

Then: I was 21.
Now: I am, most definitely, not 21.