There's not enough Novocain in the world...

So I'm alive. So is Dr. Patel. These are both very good things. However, I was very sad in that dentist chair today.


(Notice the left side sagging a bit more; this was when I was waiting for the Novocain to work)

Turns out what I was seeing was the edge of a cavity that was forming UNDER my already existing filling. Oh.My.Donuts. This extended through THREE teeth. Two were worse so he worked on those.

By "worked on" I mean tortured me until I offered my first born.

He had to remove the old fillings, drill out the cavities, and since there was so much gone, he couldn't replace it with another silver filling. He had to take molds to make permanent inlays. Right now, I have temporary fillings until the permanent ones come in in two weeks. The only bright side to this whole thing is that the new ones are porcelain, which means they are not silver. I wanted to get rid of the ugly silver ones anyway but was too chicken.

The initial shots for the Novocain made me nauseous and shaky and even though I felt numb, when he started to drill the "big one" I felt it and he had to re-inject me. I had the nitrous tube on my nose and kept taking deep nasal swigs and swear it wasn't enough. I wanted to ask for more but was afraid they'd think I was a junkie or something. Still, it helped me slightly and I disconnected and thought about being in Hawaii. Oh, sweet nitrous.



It did not stop me, however, from clenching my hands together so tightly, I did this:



Yes, those are my nail marks dug into my skin. It's 10 hours later and they're still visible in some places.

Also, this was not the highlight of my day:


(Yes, my dentist is actually called The Apprehensive Patient. Their tagline is "Dentistry for cowards." I'm such a pussy.)

That would be $740 dollars. Which is COPAY. My insurance company is actually very good and paid 70%. And it's STILL almost a thousand dollars. Suck, suck, suckety suck.

So, I have to go back at least four more times. Once to get the permanent fillings put in. Once to get the third tooth drilled and fitted for a new filling. Once to install that one. And once for my cleaning and checkup that I already had scheduled in October. How much you wanna make a bet during that appointment, they find more shit to do to torture me into an early grave?

Before I left, I looked at the dentist and said, "You have the worst job ever. I hate you and don't even know you. I'd kick you in the shins if I could get out of this chair without slipping on my own drool."

He laughed and told me it would be $35 for the nitrous.