I couldn't help myself

Swistle said the magic words every woman wants to hear: "initiate target clearance rack." And while I didn't go to Target (yet), I do happen to be lucky enough to live eight minutes away from one of the largest outlets in NJ, where they have a Children's Place and a Carters (among many others, but those are my preference). The Children's Place has $1.99-$7.99 clearance racks in the back for end-of-season stuff, and being the bargain shopper I am, only buy from those racks. Charlotte already has clothes for the spring/summer I bought last year as well as fall/winter stuff for next year I just bought in 3-T.

All of the clothes you see on the bed - which includes 34 shirts, 36 onesies, 10 pair of pants, two sweaters, 10 pair of pajamas, and two winter coats (one in 6-9 months and one in 18 months for the following winter), and one of the cutest fricken hats I have ever seen - cost me $187.96. Could you not vomit a little at that sale?!? I also saved 15% with a coupon! Most of the shirts are long sleeve and in 3-6 and 6-9 months for next fall/winter, the onesies and pajamas vary from 0-3 to 6-9.

There were so many cute outfits for the tiny newborn, but I had to think back and remember to when Charlotte was a six-pound squirming blob and remember that she lived in onesies, feetie pajamas (which are now possessed by the devil apparently and she won't go near) and socks. She was swaddled a lot or in a carrier so we dressed her loosely. I may have put her in a dress or "outfit" two-three times in her first six months. So I refrained from the uterine urge to buy a little golf outfit with saddle shoes and just get the things I know Sawyer will be wearing.

I still have a lot of shopping to do in the next few months (Target run, anyone?) but not a bad start!

A heavy question

I'm taking a break from my regularly scheduled humor to ask a pretty serious question. For those of you with sons, did you circumsize them? What was your reasoning and are you happy with your decision?

I'll give my thoughts on the topic after I hear yours.

The Name

So now that it has sunk in: OH. MY. TARGET. I'm having a boy. With a penis. He will pee on me. He will most likely pee on his sister. There will be a lot of pee.

I am more excited than I thought I would be. Don't get me wrong: another girl would have been fantastic too. For one, I now have 10 huge Tupperware bins of barely worn baby girl clothes that we won't be using, and I now have to go out and buy a whole new baby wardrobe. Not that I'm complaining about shopping but it does cost money. Money we would have saved if the "pachina" were present.

I've mentioned this before, but Charlotte loves her Daddy. They have a bond that I just don't have with her. I know I will always be her Momma and that we have a different kind of bond, but I can't help but want a little of that. I come home at the end of a long day at work and open the door, see her sitting on her Daddy's lap reading a book, and expect her to come over to me, hug my legs, and squeal. Instead, she looks at me, then turns her attention back to her Daddy. Or she may get up, run over to me, demanding my shoes.

When Mike walks through the front door, she stops what she's doing, runs to him where he scoops her up and they begin their little dance of tickles and giggles. I am not jealous of their bond; I am thrilled that they have that. I would just like to have a little bit of it, and maybe with a son, I have that chance.

I know I had said we weren't going to tell people the name, but my mother had said that last time when I didn't tell her that it was rough on her and upset her. I didn't want to do that again, so after we knew we were having a boy and decided on his name, we called her first. Then we told the rest of the family. So even though it goes against all I've said and though I'd prefer to keep it quiet, the cat is already out of the bag, so why not tell you guys, right?

He will be Sawyer East _______. (last name is two syllables)

East was my grandfather's middle name. I was very close to him growing up, and I said if I ever had a son, I would use his name somehow, and since his first name was Milton, uh yeah.....

If you don't like it, please don't tell me. I'm pregnant. Depending on the day, I will either cry or eat you.

You figure it out:

The suspense is killing me

I don't remember being so excited to find out Charlotte's gender but I am damn near bursting! When I went for my first Level 2 ultrasound when I was pregnant with her, they couldn't get a good enough view to tell me for certain if she was a girl or boy. I knew from the third month or so that she was a girl but I wanted that confirmation from the scrubs-clad tech. When she couldn't tell me, I cried. She had me walk around, jump up and down, anything to try and get the baby to move positions. But true to her form, she was stubborn; she would not be moved. We didn't find out until I was almost seven months along and I finally got that confirmation.

This time, if for one reason or another, they can't see the mommy/daddy buttons on this kid, I am going to barricade myself in the place and threaten to eat everyone until they give me a 3-D and see "penish" or "pachina."

I am planning on another 3-D ultrasound anyway but not for another 6-7 weeks and I can't wait that long! I did it for Charlotte and it was such a cool experience - the resemblance when she was born was uncanny - and I loved seeing my baby's face inside my womb.

Tomorrow morning at 8:30 am, I may or may not have the ultrasound tech's collar in a vice death grip, but by tomorrow afternoon, you should all see if you were right - as of right now we have 29 votes for a boy and 22 votes for a girl. At first, it was a huge lead for the boy but slowly over the past week the girl votes have creeped up.

I truly go either way. My husband is a wonderful man and I think he could raise another good man - and they are so few and far between in this world. But I grew up with a sister and think that's a bond in its own category. AHHH, I NEED TO KNOW NOW!!

What is in this giant belly of mine? They better tell me boy or girl and not wolly mammoth:

(19 weeks)

Repeat after me

I will not get sick again. I will not get sick again. I will not get sick again.

Charlotte started yesterday and by this morning, she is a snotty coughy mess. Nothing as terrible as some of you have been dealing with - the flu, stomach viruses, allergic reactions - but snot abounds nonetheless.

I'm trying to be careful - not touch my face, wash my hands often - but she literally just sneezed, wiped her face with her hand before I could get to her, and then walked over to me and rubbed it on my leg. Awesome. I'm not going to spend all my time trying to prevent the spread of germs because it feels inevitable, so I'm going to focus on fortifying the defenses. Zicam: check! Orange juice: check! Gallon of fresh brewed decaf tea: check! Let's just hope this bypasses the adults in the household this time.

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In regard to some of the comments from my post about booksfree.com, yes, I realize the library is free. And I'm sure I could find the time to go and get books, but the whole return-them-in-time-or-pay thing doesn't sit with me. I am too busy. I can barely remember if I put underwear on this morning (A mistake you only make once, people) let alone when my books are due back and then drag my arse out to the library with books I haven't read because I didn't have time. The $15.99 is well worth the convenience of being able to read books as quickly or as slowly as my schedule allows, never worry about late fees, and all I have to do is walk to and from my mailbox, rather than hike to the library. For instance, this month I took on massive amounts of overtime work to pay for our new couch, front door (did you know front doors cost like 2K - Good Grief!), new hardwood blinds, etc., so I haven't read a book in weeks. Though the last one I read was this one and it was fan-fricken-tastic and you should pick it up.

(click for listing on Amazon)

Anyone have any recommendations of new books to read? I just put in for Water for Elephants and that should be here soon - so many people loved it - and I am looking forward to reading that. I also started a list of classics I've never read but always wanted to - Jane Eyre, 1984, Moby Dick. What are your favorite classics?

And thanks to everyone else for the cool new sites to check out. I have a whole bunch of new cool things to check out while I tend to this:

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Only two more days left to vote on whether Spawn Part Deux has a "penish" or a "pachina" - I'm so excited to find out - GAH!

You know you have a toddler when...

1. You step on at least 3 toys on your way to the bathroom in the middle of the night, even though you were sure you cleaned them all up.

2. You've convinced yourself that macaroni and cheese is a good dinner for you too, though three years ago, you'd be eating maple glazed salmon.

3. Even when you go out without them with other adults, you could still produce a juice box, binkie, and fruit snacks in seconds.

4. Phrases like "no, that kitty does not have a vagina" or "yes, that man does have boobies but they don't like to hear that" come out of your mouth.

5. You go to Target for diapers and wipes and spend $156.96.

6. You've let your child throw themselves to a dirty floor and have a fit in public because you.will.not.give.in.

7. You never thought you'd pick someone else's nose, but you go digging for your kid's boogers.

8. You turned down invites to places because you dare not mess with naptime.

9. You know all the words to Finding Nemo and can act it out on demand, much to the chagrin of your adult childless friends.

10. You think Sesame Street was edgier when cookie monster smoked a pipe and Snufalufagus was a drug-induced hallucination by a giant yellow bird.

Because I'm a sharer

Because I like when people tell me about cool things, I'm about to tell you about three of the coolest websites I use. And no, I'm not getting paid for any of this -- I just like you all and think you'd like cool stuff too.

1. Booksfree.com - Like netflix for books. If you read like I do, which when I have time can be upwards of 5-6 books a month, spending all that cash at Barnes & Noble just to give the book away or have it sit on my shelf is painful. So at this site, you can sign up for monthly plans. For $15.99/month, I "rent" four paperback books out at a time. They come in packages of two and inside the package with the books is a pre-address/prepaid package to send the books back -- two at a time -- when you are finished with them. There are no limits to the amount you can read/send back. You keep a queue list just like on netflix, and when you send two back, they'll automatically send you the next two on your list. You can keep them for as long as you want, and if you decide (or like me have lost) one of the books, you can "buy" it for the listed price, which is usually less than the stores anyway. Say I read 5 books, at 7.99-12.99 a book, I've already saved myself a bucket of money. Even if you only read/buy one of two books a month, it saves. It doesn't take away my urge and love for aimlessly walking around a quiet bookstore, childless, latte in hand, reading the backs of books I may or may not read. So I do this still and bring a little notepad to write down which books I want to add to my queue when I get home. One of the best things I did for myself this past year.

2. Pandora.com -- a music streaming site. For free, you go and create your own radio station by typing in a band/song you like. Then it will stream music similar to the input you chose for free without skipping/buffering. You can create an unlimited amount of "stations" and I have found so much new cool music and musicians I may have never heard of if not for this. You can bookmark artists, link to their sites, and create new stations based of songs/artists that are playing. You can also create a "mix" of some or all of the stations you created.

3. Myxer.com -- You can create your own ring tone and send it to your phone to download for FREE. No signing up for anything, nada. You can upload any MP3 you have on your computer, enter your number, click "customize" and you can chose what part of the song (or all of it ) you want to be sent to your phone. Warning: is highly addictive.

Do you guys have any favorite cool websites that you think everyone (read: I) should know about?

You know you wear hair up too much when...

None of your family or friends notice you cut five inches off your hair:
Oh well.

For my birthday --

I want one of these!

Upon discussing how much the world loves Rice Krispie Treats, chefmom sends me this picture of a "cake" she made for her daugter's birthday. You think she can make one that can fit ALL of my many candles this year? Best part? She lives in NJ too. I'm so driving to her house and camping out on the front lawn until she makes me my very own rice krispie treat castle!!

Oh, all of my treats are gone as of this morning. Yep, had it for breakfast. To my defense, I also had a yogurt and orange juice. That's well rounded, right?

What are your snacks that you can't have in the house because you have no self control and will eat the whole box/bag/plate/dish? For me, it's fresh baked cookies, rice krispie treats, and chocolate cake. These are usually NEVER allowed in my house because I worry I'd eat myself to 800 lbs, but hell, I'm pregnant. I win.

Wait, it's actually winter? (oh, and pee too!) (and American Idol)

This morning, for the first time all winter, it snowed. Like really snowed. None of that dusting crap. Normally in Jersey, we get snow a few times a year, with a good nor'easter thrown in for good measure every couple of years. But this season and last year as well have been mild - really, really mild. Like 70-degrees-in-January mild.

It's still coming down and this is what we have so far:


(View from my front window - why yes, that is my street NOT plowed)


(View from back door. Notice the BBQ tools Mike left out in the bucket. Told ya it was mild, we were still BBQing last week!)

Charlotte is 21-months old and though we live on the east coast has never been in the snow. After her nap, we're planning a family shovel time, and hopefully the snow will have stopped by then.

In true Jersey fashion though, it is supposed to turn to rain, then freeze overnight, making really awesome ice layer on top of snow. Then tomorrow, it's supposed to be 40.

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In totally unrelated news, how old were your kids when they started potty training? People keep telling me I could have her trained before the new baby, but in all honesty, I'm in no rush. I figure she'll tell me when she's ready. She's always in the bathroom with me (lest I leave her alone for five seconds and she has the cat in a choke hold) so she understands the concept. She has her own potty that she'll sit on, both with her diaper and without, but doesn't do anything. She doesn't like having a poopy diaper, and tells me "momma, poop-a HEINIE!!"

Should I be doing more or am I doing the right thing by letting her go at her own pace? Everyone (you know, people love to share their opinions when you're visibly pregnant and you tell them you have a toddler at home) seems to think that because we have another spawn on the way, that I need to rush her out of her crib or out of diapers. But she loves her crib. Why should I change that on her because I'm having another baby? I think it's unfair. She'll get out of her crib when she wants to. And why should I chase her around trying to make her use the potty just so I don't have two babies in diapers? Isn't that selfish? Not to mention, I think I'd much rather change two sets of diapers in those early days, than deal with a newborn and cleaning up "accidents."

What, dear readers, is your take on the whole "rushing the toddler to make room for the baby" thing? Personally, I think it's crap.

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And is it just me, or this season of apparently "the best 24 ever" of American Idol the MOST mind-numbingly boring season ever thus far? I wanted to ram an ice pick in my ears just to stop the agony. Thank goodness for DVRs since I could fast forward through almost all of the performances to prevent me from perforating my own ear drums.

Any ideas for front runners?

AndreAnna's It's-All-Fun-and-Games-Till-You-Lose-an-Eye Chili

Most of you correctly guessed that yes, at one point in life, I was asinine enough to touch my eye after making chili. It was an early Sunday morning years ago before children, where sleeping was, you know, something we did. Mike was sleeping and I got up early to start the chili. I had finished up, and I DID wash my hands. I had an itch and didn't think anything of it, so I itched it. I died. The pain was so much that it clamped my eye shut, and I wear contacts and knew I had to get it out. I ran upstairs screaming like a banshee that I had maced myself, scaring the living crap out of my then-fiancee. He had to kneel on my chest and pry my eye open to peel out my contact lens. I kept yelling something about milk. I remembered milk helped counteract the capsicum in the pepper. I eventually rinsed it out, and put a milk-soaked cloth on it until it calmed down. We laugh at the story now, but man, that really really really sucked.

So learn from me and use gloves when chopping up peppers. Then clean up with the gloves on, washing down the surfaces, making sure all seeds and garbage are thrown away, THEN take them off and still wash your hands well. You can never be too careful.

Anyway, some of you asked so I am going to post my recipe. This is a very chunky type chili, hearty, with lots of fresh ingredients. It does take some prep time, so I wouldn't put it in the easy-peasy category, but it definitely is not difficult.

My local store carries 85/25 "chili chopmeat" specific to making chili - it has a thicker ground, so there are hearty pieces and chunks instead of tiny ground meat. I use one package of this and one package of lean (90% or 93%) to counteract the fattiness of the other. If your store does not have "chili" ground beef and you like the bigger chunks, you can get 85% burgers (about four) and cut them into chunks, sized to your preference. I've done both before and it's worked great each time. You can also use ground turkey meat for this recipe if you prefer.

Also, you will be buying whole peppers but only using 1/4 to 1/2 of each. I recommend chopping them all up, and what you don't use, put in a bowl/bag and freeze for next time so you can save yourself the chopping.

As for the spice, if you want it decently spicy keep the seeds and the ribs (the white edges inside the peppers) for one jalapeño. I find the spice of one whole jalapeño to be the perfect amount. It will bite, but in a good way. Extra spice (crazy fools)--use two. Less spice--remove the ribs and seeds completely and only add in a few seeds, pieces of ribs, or none at all.

See here for pictures/info on all types of peppers.

Ingredients:
2 lbs ground beef (split up into your choice or all one kind)
1 24 oz can diced tomatoes (unflavored)
2 cups beef broth
1 small onion, chopped
1/4 c. of the following fresh peppers, chopped:
-long green pepper
-red bell
-poblano
2 jalapenos, chopped (ribs/seeds added depends on your tastes)
2 tbsp. chopped parsley (can use for garnish later as well)
1 can red beans (optional)
3 tbsp. butter
6 tbsp. flour

Spices
1 tbsp. cumin
1 tbsp. chili powder
1 1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1 1/2 tsp. onion pweder
1 tsp. pepper
1 tsp. salt

OR

2 pkgs. Ortega Chili Mix (Note: this is not cheating. It's all the same stuff as above in one package and makes life much easier)

For display/serving:
-small sourdough bread(s)
-cheddar cheese
-sour cream
-scallions/sweet onions

Directions:
Set crock pot for 8 hours. Put meat in bottom of crock pot first. Break it up. Then add the diced tomatoes, broth, and all the ingredients but the spices. I like to let the veggies meld and soften on their own before adding the spice.

It will look like this:

Cover and let sit. In about an hour, once the meat has had a good chance to cook, stir the pot. Let cook for an additional 3 hours. About that time, it will look like this:



Add in the spices (or the 2 pkgs. of chili mix - my choice most of the time). Let cook for an additional 2 hours. It will look like this:


Make a roux for thickening the chili -- by melting the butter in a saucepan on low and slowly adding the flour until it makes a paste (you may or may not need the whole amount of flour). Add the roux and the kidney beans at this time if you want them (any earlier and they may break apart). Cook for the final hour to thicken. The final chili will look similar to this:


You can hollow out a small sourdough bread loaf to make a bowl. The insides are excellent for dipping. Pour the chili inside and top with shredded cheddar, sour cream, and chopped onions/scallions - all optional and to your liking.


Enjoy!

Buehler, Anyone?

Can someone please tell me why the simple melding of butter, marshmallows, and rice krispies is so damn good?

This morning, while shopping for Mike's special dinner tonight, I saw a bag of marshmallows and instantly needed rice krispie treats. So, I made them. At 8 am. And am eating them already. Ha! Take that!

I hope I don't induce myself in a sugar coma because I need to keep watch on
AndreAnna's It's-All-Fun-and-Games-Until-You-Lose-An-Eye Chili:

All those seven fresh ingredients (plus the meat at the bottom and broth) will cook for the next five hours, when then I will season it and let it cook an additional three hours. Then I will serve it in a sourdough bread bowl with shredded cheddar, sour cream, and tiny chopped onion. I hope he likes it, but it's one of his favorites, so I'm sure he will.

Can anyone guess why I wear these and why my chili has its special name?

One and Thirty

Today is Mike's birthday. I feel like a terrible wife. I didn't get him a card or a gift yet. I didn't even cook him dinner. I was in the office all day and did call ahead and pick up his favorite Thai food. We are going out this weekend to celebrate and I will go out tomorrow and pick up the ingredients to make him a special dinner. Not sure what I'm making yet, but it will be damn good.

Though I was fine with just letting the day go by unnoticed, Mike left work early for my birthday to shop, get me a card and flowers and cook me one of my favorite meals. I have paled in comparison as a spouse in this realm. I wish his birthday didn't fall on a day I had to be in the office, but work has been so crazy this month, I didn't have any choice. If you want to think of it like this, I am working my ass off to buy us nice new things which is a pretty nice gift, right? Oh yeah, and the whole squishing a new kid out this year is a pretty cool gift too I informed him.

Other than the normal sentimental bull honky about what a wonderful husband and father he is (which he is incredible at both but I hope that comes across in everything I say), I am going to give you the top ten reasons I love him.

1. He lets me buy his clothes. No need to tell him why his shirt doesn't match his shoes, because, voila! I've already tackled that hurdle at the store!
2. He gets his unibrow waxed. I mean, he rips it off one hair at a time, while pounding on his chest, drinking beer, swearing and watching football.
3. He puts on my electric blanket a couple hours before bed so my side is all toasty and warm when I get in bed.
4. He shaved my legs and painted my toenails last time I was pregnant and couldn't reach.
5. He can cook and makes me my favorite meals on the days I feel crappy.
6. He lets me make fun of him and even laughs at my jokes.
7. He watches American Idol with me, even though he secretly loves it denies he likes it to his friends.
8. He is proud of me.
9. He rubs my back to help me fall asleep at night and lets me put my cold feet on his legs to warm them up.
10. He tells me how beautiful I am when I feel hugely pregnant, somewhat like this:

18 weeks

Happy Birthday Babe. I love you more everyday.

The stink eye

This is what I get when I ask my charming toddler to smile for the camera:

The Big Wall Reveal

Like I mentioned, we live in a smallish Cape Cod style house and the more stuff we accumulated, the smaller it was feeling. I always wanted to open up the wall between the living room and kitchen but we never had the money to get it done. Because it was a supporting wall, it was more in-depth than just knocking it down.

We'd save and then something would happen - the flood that ruined our finished basement, Mike's Jeep finally died and he needed a new car, I had surgery and was out of work. It was always one thing or another, but two years since we moved in, we finally got it done. It makes such a huge difference and makes me so happy. At the same time, improving one part of the house seems to highlight other things and places I want to redo. New paint! New floors! Need new cabinets! Refinish the hardwood! Alas, more money. And I know we'll get there. Slowly but surely. One of the cool things about being a homeowner, I suppose. You have the time and the pride to do it.

Without further ado, The Big Wall Reveal of '08.

View from Front Door
Before

After

(Yes, the bottom cabinet drawer is missing. It's broken and on the list.)

View from Hallway
Before

After

View from the Back Door
Before

After

(Humongous cat on the futon usually present in said spot at all times)

The only thing that is left is getting our couch. Another 4 weeks or so. It's going to go along the wall under the picture window replacing the futon, (supposed to be temporary two years ago) and stretch all the way into the corner, with a chaise on the corner end and a recliner on the other end closest to the door. The oversize chair will make it a bit cluttered in here with the larger couch, so we're going to either retire it to our bedroom (if it will fit up the stairs which is rather iffy) so I have a place to sit with the new baby or give it to my parents.

There you have it. I know you were all itching in your britches to see the final product but because I felt like the turd on my dog turd cupcakes the past few days, we finally finished it up this evening. I'm so glad it's done.

And just for fun, this is what we had to live with for a week (with a toddler I might add; what a joy that was). Though, to the contractor's credit, he made sure he cleaned up every night before he left.

Love/Hate Relationship

Things I dislike about my almost five-month pregnant body:

1. The inability to find ANYTHING that fits right. I have no hips, so all my pants fall down and in hiking them up, I all to often create the dreaded "camel toe." So I alternate my day worrying whether my asscrack is showing or I have a front wedgie. Most maternity shirts are either too large or too small and non-maternity shirts have long been left in the dust unless I want to show a little belly. Around the house, this is not a problem, but I doubt my coworkers want to see my gall-bladder scar.

2. My skin and hair. I usually have really nice skin, few blemishes, mostly due to the fact that I am always on birth control. But now, my body is a raging hormonal free-for-all, and I have it all from blackheads to pimples to dry flaky scalp. Yes, I'm sexy. I know you want me. My hair is usually soft and though fine, I've been able to deal with it. Now, it seems lifeless and dull, and the ends are more frayed then ever. I am afraid to get a haircut though because I can see myself begging the woman to just chop it all off for the LOVE OF GOD I can't take it.

3. My mouth. I never had this with Charlotte, but this time around I have the most funkadelic taste in my mouth, usually after eating sweets, which by the way is pure torture. It's like almost metallic mixed with a little bit of morning breath. I find myself brushing my teeth upwards of 5 times a day because though it would make more sense to lay off the sweets which seems to cause the problem, that is SO never going to happen. How can one resist cupcakes that look like dog poop?

4. My boobs. I sure wish they would stop hurting.

5. My belly. My once innocuous little pooch has now been pushed upwards to make room for SPD, creating the most bizarre fat roll, right under my bra. Really hot, right? Luckily, I know this too will go away as SPD takes up all the room and the fat is pushed out and skin taut until I am quite sure he/she will just push through and pop out one day.

6. The sneeze pee. Enough said.

Things I love about my almost-five month pregnant body:

1. My boobs. Yes, I know that was in the "dislike" list, but I have to also put them in this category because they are larger and more perkier. That's a definite plus. And I know they will stop hurting eventually.

2. My nails. Man do these things grow like weeds! Though it cuts the time down from my needing a mani/pedi, it sure is nice to HAVE to go to the salon because they are just getting TOO long.

3. My belly. I know - another one from the above list, but how can I not love the ginormous ever-growing place where I am growing a human. Like a real-live person is inside me. How crazy is that? Each day, I feel SPD move more and more, and now, if we lay really quiet at night, and Mike puts his hand right where I feel it, he too can feel his child move inside me. How can something be so creepy and so awesome at the same time? Even though I have felt this before, with Charlotte, each little bump and kick still makes me smile and marvel at the magic that is happening. That we created a life and that it is INSIDE of me. So weird. So cool.


What do/did you love/hate about your body? Or for my male readers, what did you love about your wife when she was pregnant?

This list will certainly change as I get larger and larger, unable to sleep, shave my legs, bend over without losing my breath, or have a heel wedged in my ribcage. But for now, the good things outweigh the bad, and the end result is always, always worth it:

Zicam + 98 cups of water/OJ= better!

I either drowned this virus or the Zicam stuff really works. I usually use Airborne, but due to the high levels of Vitamin A, pregnant woman are told to avoid it at all costs. I called my OB and he said Zicam and Vitamin C were okay and should help, so on Thursday when this all started, I started the Zicam.

Friday was ground zero. I was barely awake the whole day and when I was, I was shoving the Zicam nasal gel up my noseholes, or drinking water or orange juice. That and moaning for someone to end my misery in between wiping snot from my face. By Saturday I was better-ish - less froggy - and by today, I was 87% human. That's not damn bad for the same virus (I assume) that Mike took 10 days to kick. So, either I have a great immune system, SPD has special healing powers, or that Zicam and "extra fluids" stuff really works. In either case, it didn't hurt.

I was getting in a few extra hours of work this afternoon when I got an email from a coworker telling me she'd get to my request on Tuesday. A few minutes went by before I realized that tomorrow was Monday and what the hell was wrong with Monday? I need my stuff done, damnit. Then I realized it was a holiday. I knew Mike had off and the baby's dayhome was closed, but I thought I had to go in. I had a mental outfit prepared and everything. I checked the staff website, and wouldn't ya know it, the offices are closed tomorrow? Wouldn't I have been the ass who drove an hour and some to go to work when there was no work? So, yay for another day home, even though I do have to work, at least I don't have to drive there.

Remember when I said I made homemade vanilla cupcakes? Yeah, they sucked. They were more like muffins. So I put them out for the squirrels. You remember them? The carnivorous satanic squirrels that steal our ribs from the garbage and hide in a tree?

(See, his evil eyes are even glowing. Possessed, I tell ya. Fat and possessed)

So I looked up and tried another recipe. Those sucked too. Fat bastard squirrels got more grub.

I gave up and made chocolate cupcakes from scratch to go with my homemade chocolate frosting (so so so so so so so much better than the kind in the tub) even though I really wanted vanilla. I asked Mike to frost them this afternoon and since we put the frosting in a ziploc bag and use it as a faux pipette, this is what he did:

Though delicious, they are now known as the dog turd cupcakes.

So does anyone have a vanilla cake/cupcake recipe that doesn't suck? I mean, I'm a good baker and TWICE these cupcakes tasted like the ass end of, well, an ass.

I will bake and mail my special dog turd cupcakes to anyone who can give me a non-suckass recipe for vanilla cupcakes.

OJ

I slept until 10 am yesterday in my snot-induced stupor, ate a bowl of frosted mini-wheats, watched three episodes of What Not to Wear, and went back to bed at 1 and slept until Mike came home with Charlotte around 3. Then I fell asleep on the couch at 9 watching an incredibly boring episode of Ghost Hunters. I am a rock star.

I drank what felt like 100 glasses of orange juice and a ton of water. I think I literally drank a gallon of liquids yesterday, no exaggeration. I took Tylenol and used the Zicam zinc nasal gel (as I have been since I started feeling sick on Wednesday) And ya know what? I feel better today. Not great, but better. I actually got up and showered. We took the Charlotte to McDonalds for her Saturday morning hotcakes, since we had no pancake mix in the house. Then we went to the food store where we replenished our baking supply cabinet.

I made homemade vanilla cupcakes with homemade chocolate frosting and Mike is working on a homemade pecan pie as I type this.

I may still be sick but damnit, I will have fresh baked goods.

Still

Day two of being miserable.

I actually asked Mike to call out of work today so he could take care of the baby. I couldn't sleep all night and felt like my head and face was splitting in two this morning. Of course he said he would but when he did, he was informed that a bunch if other people at work called out, leaving only one guy there. I told him to go in and I'd be alright. Instead, he called her "teacher" and the wonderful person she is, said she could take her today. So Mike went into work and I went back to bed.

I know it will pass and in the meantime, I called my OB who said I could take robitussin and sudafed, which I am using sparingly.

So far there is an overwhelming vote that SPD is going to be a boy. What are your reasons? Catwoman said it was because my pregnancies were different? Has anyone had this hold true? Anyone else have any other clues that sway you one way or the other?

In any case, here is SPD nestled snuggly in his/her sick momma, week 17:

Ugh

I'm siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick.

I hate being sick. More than that, I hate being pregnant and sick. I'll live, but in the meantime the house is suffering. Mike was sick with this all last week and he is still getting over it and with me in the trenches, by the time we put the baby down, we look at the paint cans, brushes, and tarps, and say "eff it" and watch American Idol instead.

It will get done and our house is livable, but The Big Wall Reveal of 08 is on hiatus until we both stop horking and spewing.

Thank mini-eggs, Target, shoes, and everything else I hold dear in this world that Charlotte has not gotten sick. Because the only thing worse than two sick parents is a demon spawn with the same illness.

Through my haze of benadryl, nasal spray, and chloraseptic I barely remembered today was Valentine's Day. Mike called while I was in the car on the way to the office (yes, I'm at work today. Oh, woe.) and says "(Bark) Happy. (snort) Valen (hack) tine's Day (sniffle)." Yeah, we're one hot couple. Nothing sexier than a bed covered in snotty tissues rather than roses, and a cup full of Airborne rather than champagne. (No, pregnant women cannot take airborne, only zinc and Vitamin-C.)

We find out whether SPD will have a "pa-china" (per Charlotte-ese) or not two weeks from today on the 28th. I'm sure you're all counting down on your little calendars.

Anyone have a feeling one way or the other? I'll take a poll. Check my sidebar and vote!

Wordless Wednesday (The-How-I-Function-Edition)

Pregnancy/Parenting Rage

Have you ever been so angry in your life you could reach to the nearest human being, tear them limb from limb, and then batter and deep fry them? Were you pregnant and/or had your children with you? I'm gonna go with yes.

I've always been a rather angry driver. I was convinced my child's first words would be "Get out of the left lane, you douche bag with arms." I've been better now that she's older and I know she can pick things up very quickly, as she demonstrates by dropping her sippy cup uttering "damnit."

But when someone rides my ass on a highway or cuts me off or makes am abrupt turn without a blinker and I have one kid in the car and one in my womb, I get so angry I can barely speak. If someone drives too fast in a parking lot or down my street, I imagine taking a baseball bat to their car, reaching through the window, pulling them out by their punk ass hair, and ripping their stomach out through their nostrils.

I'm not a violent person. I've never been in a fight, never hit anyone other than my sister and we all know that doesn't count. But I truly believe I could win any physical altercation if someone were to threaten the safety of my child(ren).

Last night on my way home from a 10-hour day at work, some Mercedes with NY plates was literally inches from my bumper going 75 on a major highway. I was not going slow. There was a car in front of me; I couldn't go any further. And though I wasn't keeping a "safe driving distance" I did give the car in front of me plenty of space. I've been rear-ended twice. I'm not stupid.

Five years ago, I would have brake-checked him. Slammed on my brakes and then sped up. Irrationally proving I wouldn't tolerate tailgating. But I guess somewhere along the line, things changed. I have a baby inside of me; it's not just my life to risk anymore. I belong to Mike and Charlotte and this new baby.

So rather than slam on my brakes like I wanted to do, I imagined the guy catching a venereal disease that would cause his daddy buttons to turn gangrene and fall off.

The fact is that I have never experienced such utter rage and anger as I have when someone has threatened the safety of my babies. I guess it's a parental instinct, one that has helped keep our species alive for so long, protecting our young. But cut me off in traffic, or speed in a parking lot in front of me walking with my Target cart, toddler in tow, and you may be in danger of losing your ability to walk properly.

Have any of you experienced this "parent rage?"

Aversions

I mentioned my undying NEED for sour gummy peaches the other day - the only real craving I've had so far. Other than the need to shove 50 thousand mini-eggs down my gullet all day long, that is.

But, this pregnancy my food aversions are way different than last time. When I was knocked up with Charlotte, I couldn't look at chicken. I couldn't watch a commercial with chicken in it, see chicken in the grocery store, smell chicken cooking. It was bad enough that if I was at a restaurant and a friend ordered something with chicken in it, I would put up a menu or something so I couldn't see their food. I also couldn't stomach pizza - the smell, the sight of the gooey cheese - it all made me turn. How un-American was I? No chicken or pizza? Though the aversion to chicken faded, I still don't love pizza. I think I may be the only one in the tri-state area who doesn't really like pizza.

This time around, I happily handle raw chicken and still eat it a few times a week. But I cannot go near seafood, which I normally love. It just tastes so fishy. I even tried coconut shrimp again the other day and lo, could barely chew it and swallow at the restaurant table rather than spit it out at my napkin. I also can't eat pork (except bacon).

What were your (or your spouse's) food aversions? Did they switch with different pregnancies? Did you ever get over it? Will I ever be able to enjoy a crabmeat-stuffed tilapia fillet or cedar plank salmon (I just gagged a little typing that)?

The good news is I'm starting to feel really good. Good as in the "Now, where IS that George Clooney/Brad Pitt/David Boreanz?" kinda way. I have a ton more energy and haven't needed a nap in a week or so. I like this part - the honeymoon. The first trimester is in the dust and I'm trying to enjoy being able to still bend over (albeit increasingly more laboriously), sleep well, and karate-chop anyone who parks in my "Stork Parking" space at work. The third trimester looms in the distance, but I ignore it, much like I do the fact that I actually have to, you know, GIVE BIRTH again.

Ouch

We hate to see our babies hurt. Their vaccinations usually hurt us more than them, and though we usually make light of when they fall (Oh, no, you fell DOWN - BOOM! You're okay!!!) or when they bump their head, when they do get truly hurt, it physically affects us somewhere deep in our gut - in a place that didn't exist before we had children.

But one thing to me that hurts more than this - is knowing you caused the pain. That some mistake you did, however harmless, caused your baby to cry, bleed, and be in pain.

Yes, I did this:

It actually doesn't look as bad on camera as it does in real life, where you can see the little extra piece of skin hanging off or the oozing it does if she happens to touch it.

She was reaching for a giant plate of grapes at a birthday party yesterday and I went to stop her from pulling it on herself, but as I was coming over her head, my fingernail jammed in her face, and skipped its way down her cheek. There is one big crescent-moon shaped gash, with a few small cuts underneath it, like skipping stones across a lake.

I always have my nails done. For the past five years, I've had LCNs - the ultraviolet kind that stay in a permanent French manicure. They were great because they're too thick for me to cut anyone, myself or infant alike, and it also stopped me from digging craters into my own fingers or picking at the cuticles - a nervous and unsightly habit. They were too dull, too smooth to cause any damage.

But for the last two months, I had them off. I couldn't justify the 50$ at the salon every three weeks, on top of the monthly pedicures I MUST have and the waxing to keep me from being too beastly. Not with a new baby coming. Double the daycare, double the diapers, double the laundry.

And so I cut the most beautiful face with a jagged nail.

She didn't even really cry until I washed it, and was more interested in eating the chocolate birthday cake than in the blood on her face. She still doesn't seem to notice it. But I do. I feel it every time I look at her.

When I got home from the party I called and made an appointment at the salon. My nail guy explained a new way to do my nails, that would look just as good as before, take half the time and be half the price.

And now I can no longer scratch the skin off my child's face or potentially slice off a tiny digit on my newborn's hands in just a few months.

My nails are now safe once again. And pretty.

This was me

This was me

NOT at Blue Man Group last night.

I had a headache all day but by the time we got through dinner and back in the car, it was a full-on migraine. I was nauseous, dizzy, and felt like my head was in a vice. Mike insisted we go home and the thought of disappointing him made me so upset, I'd start crying, which would only make my headache worse. He spent a lot of money on these tickets but more importantly put so much thought into it. I hated to see the tickets go to waste, so we called his friends who thankfully were free and were able to swing by and get the tickets in time to just make the show.
I'm glad someone got to see it and that the tickets didn't go in the garbage, but to say I am bummed is an understatement.

I came home, laid on the futon closest to the front door and didn't move until I went to bed later.

This morning I still feel the lingering twinge of a knocking in my head, but at least I can function.

Sometimes being pregnant really sucks.

Meanderings

We have our house back. Well at least most of it. It is still not painted yet but that is the plan for this weekend. Our couch we ordered also won't be in for another 5-7 weeks. (Seriously, what do they do, stitch the fabric by hand?). As soon as the walls are painted instead of this spackly mess, you'll get your Big Wall Reveal of 08. Perhaps early next week. I know you're all waiting with baded breath.

Tonight Mike is taking me into Philly to see The Blue Man Group. I had mentioned I wanted to see more shows before SPD is born because I fear with two small children, babysitters may become scarce. As in "Pffft? Watch two kids barely two years apart? For under 78 dollars an hour? Pffft!" So, for Valentine's day he bought us two floor level tickets pretty dang close to the stage. I'm really looking forward to it. And to the Thai dinner before hand at the same restaurant where we had our first real date. Commence inserting finger in throat and making gagging noises.

Have any of you seen this show? Do you and your spouse do things for Valentine's day? We usually don't do much else other than dinner, so this is a nice deviation from the norm.

I also want to see Rent again (I've seen it three times) before it ends its Broadway run in June. I think I take for granted that I live within an hour of both Philly and NYC. I really should go more.

Oh and in case you're wondering, still huge:

16 weeks

Last Will

There are a hundred million things I want to do in my lifetime before I leave this world. Without being morbid, I'm sure everyone has one of these little lists in their heads. Though mine includes a weekend rendezvous with a certain Agent Sealy Booth, most are of the "grow old" kind.

I want to see my babies grow and be happy. I want to stand with them on their wedding day, help Charlotte pick out the earrings to match her dress. I want to see them start their own families. I want to spoil my grandchildren, send them home high on sugar to their weary parents.

I want to age with Mike, wrinkled hands entwined on a front porch somewhere, a glass of iced tea maybe spiked with some rum, still making fun of each other. Still laughing. And when I do go, quietly in the night, I want them to play the song above at my service. I don't want a wake. I want a quick and quiet funeral and I want my ashes set free in the sunlight, a breeze to carry them away. Then I want a pig roast, with lots and lots of rum punch. I want people to celebrate my life.

But what if we can't live until we grow old? What if our time is limited? Our days are numbered? I decided I should make a list of things that I want to do before I die that I can accomplish without getting old. Things I want to do, places I want to see.

1. Go back to Hawaii.
2. Sky-dive.
3. Run a 5K.
4. Learn another language.
5. Read most of the Top 100 books of all time.
6. Plant and keep a garden.
7. Write a book.
8. Walk along the Great Wall of China.
9. Visit the place in Germany where my father's family lives.
10. Watch (not participate in) the running of the bulls.
11. Go in a shark cage.
12. Take martial arts classes.
13. Eat wine and cheese in Italy.
14. Swim (nay, float) in the Dead Sea.
15. Take a picture of me pretending to be holding up one of the pyramids.
16. See Tom Jones in concert before he croaks.
17. Learn to skeet shoot.
18. Learn to surf.
19. Drive an RV all around our country.
20. Go on an African Safari.

What about you? I know you've all thought about these things and we often push them out of our minds. We don't want to die. But knowing that we will makes living all the more spectacular. What are your things you want to do in your lifetime? Leave a comment or write your own blog post on this and link to it here.

Wordless Wednesday (The quiet times)

Voting!

No, this is not about the primaries, though I did drag my sick husband out this evening to make sure we voted. People die so that I can vote. I don't take that lightly.

This is about something way more important in my current pregnant world:

Cadbury Creme Eggs -- Love em or Hate em?

It seems to be that people either despise the nasty gooey center and find it creepy, or love it.

I personally find them one of the most delectable treats on earth and look forward to every easter just for these. And for my other favorite - Cadbury Mini Eggs!

They've had easter stuff in the stores for weeks but no chocolate or candies, but lo! I found the creme eggs at WaWa this afternoon and have consumed three in the past three hours. I believe that consititues a bender. Good thing I had the foresight to only buy four, lest I end up in a coma.

What are your favorite seasonal treats that you look forward to?

P.S. Death to Peeps. I hate those little marshmallowy bastards. Stale or fresh, they taste like crunchy soap.

Must haves

Not that I don't have 24 more weeks of this whole being ginormously pregnant thing, but I was thinking about back when Charlotte was a newborn and the discoveries of things that made my life so much easier, and was trying to remember them all so I can dig them out of storage. The waters were fresh with her. We were new young parents with a premature colicky baby who did nothing but scream, sleep, and puke. And when I found something that helped me get through those days, it was as valuable as diamonds. Hey, this works! Let's by six of them in case we lose one!

First, I found and read Dr. Harvey Karp's book "The Happiest Baby on the Block", which at the time changed everything. I learned to swaddle. What I thought was swaddling, was really just wrapping a baby in a blanket so her arms could sneak out, flail about her head, and wake her on a continual basis. It is supposed to be tight. Not tight enough to suffocate her, but tight enough that they can't escape. The rule: if they can get out, you did it wrong. So I learned. I became a swaddling ninja and the first time I did it right, she slept for almost 8 hours. (Cue chorus of angels).

Then I found the Miracle Blanket, which at first I thought looked so barbaric! (There's a video on the site of how it works). You mean she can't move her arms at all?!?! I tried it and we soon thereafter bought three or four more. She'd sleep for hours calm and snug in her blanket, which when most of her waking moments were spent screaming, was a blessing.

Because of her reflux, she had to sleep on an angle, but hated being in her crib. For a while, we kept her swaddled in swings. She'd sleep. We'd sleep. Things were good. I did some research and I found the Amby Baby Hammock, which became her bed for the next five or six months. I could swaddle her,place her in her little cocoon and she'd drift and sway, mimicking the motions of my womb, and sleep 6-8 hours each night. It helped with her reflux. It helped her sleep. It was expensive, but one of the best things we spent our money on. Hell, we were so tired, you could have told us to sell a kidney to buy it if it just meant our kid would sleep for ONE MORE MINUTE, we would both be down a filtering organ.

She was too little when she came home from the hospital for any of the traditional baby carriers. Even when she did get big enough, I never liked them. They cut into her legs, or the material was rough and coarse. In those early days, even though I tried a sling, I felt like she got lost in it and was going to suffocate. But she cried all day long and I had things to do. I had to do dishes, edit papers, clean up, return emails. And she was only happy if she was held. So I found this - the Ultimate Baby Wrap. Hands down one of the BEST things I bought. I used it with her for almost a whole year. It came with a DVD to show you how to do it because truthfully, it was a bit daunting. It was just one long piece of cloth and they expected ME to make it into something that would hold my child without her little body flopping out, cracking her little skull? But, I learned and then along with my ninja swaddling skills, I added ninja baby wrapping skills. I put this on, stuck her in it and go about my day. We did chores. I worked. I used it in the food store, at parties - it was pretty much on me every day for the first six months or so.

I'm trying to come up with a list of all the things I MUST HAVE for this next baby. I realize that things that worked with Charlotte might not work this time around, but at least I will have the upper hand.

The white noise machine is also a wonderful invention. In a small house with a light-sleeping baby, it helps drown out most sounds so she stirs and wakes less frequently. Also, the video baby monitor has been great because we can peek and see if she really needs us or if she is just fussing - saving a trip into the room and rousing her further.

All these things are what saved my sanity those first few months. And those are the things I recommend to new mothers. And these are the things I will be digging out for SPD.

Am I forgetting something? What were your discoveries that made your life easier with a newborn? Any secrets you want to share? Any items you just couldn't live without that first year?

Limbo

The house is still in disarray. All of our china and glassware is strewn all over the counter tops. Most small appliances like the toaster and such have been moved into the dining room. We cannot cook, though we can thankfully get to the microwave to reheat the frozen White Castle burgers I found in the freezer (score!). I've been working from home while this is going on and the baby has been at her dayhome until 3 each day, so we've been managing.

Then the weekend hit. She doesn't like playing in the basement. Despite us bringing her toys down there, it is not a baby friendly space. We did not childproof it because it is our space - The Place Where No Kids Are Allowed. So, there are zen rock gardens with stones the perfect size to fit in her little esophagus, sharp-cornered coffee tables, a big screen TV with lots of buttons to push, and countless remotes and game controllers. But still, she wants to be upstairs where it's bright and where her playroom is, and quite frankly so do I. As much as I love my space down there, it is not a "family" space - it is a grown up space, where I go to work and where Mike and I lay around watching Bruce Willis escape yet another explosion. (I mean seriously, he's like 120 - how can he take a beating like that and not stroke out?)

So we tried to keep her out of the house. We went to McDonalds for breakfast. I realize not the healthiest thing, but this kid downed almost THREE hotcakes like they were going out of style. Then we went furniture shopping where we bought a new couch go to with our new living room. After her nap, Mike's parents came over and took us out to lunch. Afterwards, they offered to take her back to their house to play and we could have the afternoon free. I had to think for about 0.0008 seconds before agreeing. So, they took our car and took her ALL afternoon and brought her back in time to change her diaper, put in her PJs and kiss her goodnight.

Back at the house, childless, we stared at each other. We couldn't clean because the house is in such a state, it's senseless. We couldn't go shopping or to the movies because we had just dropped over $1000 on the down payment for our couch. We thought and thought. We did we do on a lazy Sunday afternoon before we had a child? What did we do on our weekends to fill up dead time? So we did what any young able-bodied couple with a few free hours does.

We played Call of Duty 4 all afternoon.

Yeah, we're that awesome.

Most important meal of the day

Do two devil dogs and a Vitamin water count as breakfast?

Poor Mike

I had my first real craving this pregnancy and I just sent the poor bastard to the store.

He is now out scouring the land for Sour Gummy Peaches.

I love him. Almost as much as I will love the sweet and sour goodness of the gummy peach I will be eating in approximately 20 minutes. Almost.

What were your random out-of-the-blue cravings? That, despite the rainstorm and the fact that we've been running around like beheaded chickens for days and we're both exhausted and this was the first chance he had to sit down, you'd send your husband out in quest for?

Have I mentioned I love him?

A whole lotta nuttin

The construction knocking the wall down is going well. I've been taking plenty of photos for the before and after Big Reveal, like you all are sitting on the edge of your seats thinking "Oh, I just cannot WAIT to see how AndreAnna's wall looks."

The cats are in a tizzy. We have to keep them (and the baby for that matter) in the basement (relax, it's finished, not a dungeon). We had to duct tape the cathole in the door shut, and Leo, the little rat bastard he is, keeps trying to push through it. So far, it has held. Charlotte doesn't seem to notice or care much about all the mess and such. She likes to run back and forth on the paper they laid down, yelling, "I' running! I 'running - One, Two, Free, JUMP!" I don't know why kids like random things like running on paper, but I sure wish I could find such simple joys in life.

There's a fine white coating of drywall dust everywhere and my allergies are NOT my friend. I suppose it doesn't help that I ran out of my Zyrtec and haven't taken in in two days. It is OTC now, which is great cause I can just grab some wherever I need it, but the prescription was cheaper with my insurance. Argh. I have to spend almost 80$ a month on allergy medications just to be able to use the NOSE HOLES on my face that were designed to, you know, help me BREATHE.

Yeah, so I guess I don't have anything really important to say. Well, wait - thank you for your responses to yesterday's post. I was seriously amazed at how many people felt the same way - you are all such good people!

Ok, now I'm done with important things to say. Here's my weekly shot, amidst construction - 15 weeks.