A Three-Year-Old Con Artist

"Momma, Can we go play outside?"

"Not right now honey. We were outside all morning. Momma's got stuff in the oven and other stuff to do. We'll go outside again tomorrow or after dinner."

"Okay.....WAIT! OHMYGOSH! I left my Hello Kitty sunglasses outside! They will get ruined!"

"No, they won't. They'll be fine until we get outside in a little while."

Commence total shit-fit.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO WAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH I NEEEEEEEEEEEEED THEM!!!!!!"

"Okay, fine. Let's go outside and get them."

We walk outside to where her purple-rimmed Hello Kitty sunglasses are beaming in the sunlight. She picks them up, puts them on, grabs her helmet, and stuffs on it her head.

"Okay. Let's go back inside before Sawyer sets the cat on fire."

"Well, I'm already outside. You go back in with baby Sawyer. I stay here. BYE!"

And she slams the door in my face.