Stumble It!
Today, in some magical kingdom of rainbows and unicorn foals, both kids went down for a nap simultaneously. Of course, this is in all likelihood due to the fact that Sawyer is sick and Charlotte is fighting it off. I am likely fighting it too as I am not sick yet but I have a low fever, feel listless, headache-y, tired as all hell, although that could be from the 98435030948 times the baby woke up last night whining and snotting and coughing.
So instead of working during this down time as I normally would, I decided to lay on the couch like a big fat lump and watch Animal Cops Houston. (Seriously, why do I watch these Animal Cops shows? They always make me sad and angry. I just can't quit you, Animal Cops.)
A Visa commercial came on and since I don't usually ever watch commercials thanks to the wonderful invention that is the DVR, I wasn't aware that Morgan Freeman was doing the narration for these. His voice, for whatever reason, has always dripped with the sound of justice and fairness, kindness and firmness. Visa done good. Then I thought about that little voice in my head and how cool it would be if Morgan Freeman could be my internal monologue narrator. I started trying to superimpose his voice over my thoughts.
"And now AndreAnna, tired mother to two young children - one fighting a rhinovirus - finds the will to drag herself off the couch."
"Dinner must be made. Babies must be fed. She must carry on."
Apparently, I'm very dramatic in my own head.
Then I thought Samuel L. Jackson would make an awesome narrator, but of course everything would have to end in "motherfucka."
"Look at dis foo! She tryin' to read quietly to her baby. You know dang well he ain't gonna sit still, mothafucka."
Okay, so maybe my fever is a little higher than normal
Because I'm not so sure mentally healthy people have their inner monologue narrated by either Morgan Freeman or Samuel L. Jackson.
Who would narrate your life?
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Narrator
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14 comments:
I think I'd pick the guy who says COME ON DOWN on the price is right for all those years.
Mike Rowe, random british guy, steve carrel, connan o'brien, don't ask my why it's mostly guys that narrate my head, sometimes i imagine what it would be like if i was a famous actress in my body. It would probably mean i wasnt famous..it makes no sense.
anyways.
Mike Rowe.
The Price Is Right guy? Rod Roddy.
My inner narrative? Sean Connery. Because I melt inside when I hear him speak.
I am gonna go with Angelina Jolie, I think that her voice is pretty with it's slight accent. Plus when she occasionally giggles, it's about as shocking as when I do...
I have no idea, but I love your choices! Morgan Freeman is DA BOMB for voice overs! (my fever is a little high, too, though...)
Christopher Walken.
Ohhhh yeah.
Um, not to scare you, especially since you are so far away and I don't even know if you're having outbreaks there (and I never expected it to happen to me) depending on how high their fevers are, I would have them check for the Dreaded Swine (aka H1N1).
I thought I had some horrible sort of cold. I'm not a "go to the doctor over anything" person but decided that since I couldn't talk I should at least get checked for strep since I have 2 little ones and am 6mo pregnant. Yeah, my diagnosis? Not strep. Just the Dreaded Swine.
I am on meds (approved by my OB) and am feeling a little better than yesterday before going to the dr, as long as my immune system can handle it there shouldn't be an effect on the wee one inside, so don't freak out, please!
And again, sorry if I scare you. It's just, like I said, I never thought I would come down with it...chills, cough, fatigue, sore throat, stuffy nose, head/body aches...they all sound like cold symptoms to me! if the fever is over 100 or if there is diarrhea and vomiting...PLEASE PLEASE get them checked by their doctor! If you haven't already, that is.
Sorry to go on and on, I'm done now, I promise!
I think Maybe Robin Williams.....or maybe Tom Hanks. Morgan Freeman is an awesome choice tho.
Fran Drescher
(or maybe Adam West or James Earl Jones)
Easy peasy~Patrick Stewart ("engage" is just awesome in that voice)OR James Earl Jones ("Drew, I am your mother").
Yep, I've thought it out just a BIT too much!
Hmmmm, Oprah perhaps? People would listen, you know, cause she is basically Jesus.
Are you sure you didn't just channel Mr T?
My life is generally narrated by myself in my own head. It's sad. Especially since I hate my own recorded voice. Fortunately, in my head, it's not an audible voice. I would probably need medication if that were the case.
If it had to be audible, I think I'd like Bill Murray, because my life needs his deadpan commentary: "She plans to try to get the kids to bed early tonight, but somehow has forgotten that she's had the same plan for the LAST TWO HUNDRED NIGHTS. Is she insane? Probably. Or well on the way. Want to see a breakdown? Stay tuned!"
It would be George Carlin. Not "The Seven Words You Can't Say on Television" George, but the Thomas the Train George.
"It was a windy day on the Island of Mundane. Who's that coming around the corner? Could it be super tired mom, Lisa? Lisa was feeling down on this windy, rainy day. . ."
yeah, well you got the gist.
And I don't want it to be the Alec Baldwin Thomas the Train either. Seriously, the dude is creepy. I always think he sounds like a child molester on there.
"Hey, Thomas. How's it going?"
FREAK.
Mine would either be Kevin Smith or Eddie Izzard. Maybe Bruce Willis - the way he sarcastically talks to himself in Die Hard...
When I have a fever or am kind of crazy sick, I would probably go with Johnny Depp's version of Hunter S. Thompson just because I'm usually not particularly rational when I am sick. And how funny would that be anyway, right?
Kathleen Turner. While drunk. Yes.
-Eliz.
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