Nobles Prize in Literature

One of the biggest pet peeves I have is people mispronouncing Barnes and Noble, calling it Barnes and Nobles. I don't know why. It just makes me INSANE. There's NO "s" at the end, people!

Anyway, that little rant is mostly unrelated to this post as the only tie-in is that I was in Barnes and Noble yesterday. I have a long drive on Sunday by myself so I wanted something interesting to listen to. I settled on this, anyone read it ?

So I escape the clutches of my children for an hour to run an errand for myself - one of my most favorite kinds - meandering around a bookstore. Seriously, if they could bottle that shit and sell it, I'd pay good money. The store's a little busier because of the holidays, but it's still that ambiance of a bookstore, people quietly walking through, most conversations at a hushed level to be respectful of those of us who like book stores for the quiet.

And then as I'm picking out my audiobook, this woman ON A CELL PHONE kept LOUDLY yammering into the phone about HOW HAPPY SHE WAS! And how WONDERFUL the news was! and SHE WAS SO EXCITED!

Lady, can't you be excited outside?!? Where mommas who haven't been with their kids all day have retreated for peace and motherloving QUIET?!?

I'm pretty full of Christmas cheer these days, but I wanted to ram that phone so far up her ass, she'd have to swallow it with her Christmas Ham for dinner. The one HOUR of quiet in my WHOLE DAY was being ruined because she was VERY THRILLED!!

But because I'm a passive aggressive pussy, I just histrionically sighed, grabbed my book and walked away.

I went over to the kid's section to buy a few last-minute books for the kids for their stockings. Sawyer was easy. I bought him a couple of Curious George books, and a Cars magnadoodle/book thing. Charlotte already has a ton of books, so I wanted to buy her something special - something she'd really like.

You know what they have for three-year-old girls? Princess shit. LOTS of it. She loves it, so I try not to get too upset and just take it with a a grain of salt. But I looked and looked and looked, and there was NO young reader books that featured an ass-kicking girl.

She was either a princess, or a maid (Amelia Bedelia, which incidentally we love), or into fashion (Fancy Nancy) or a Barbie, or something else with frills and dresses and I NEED A MAN TO SAVE ME AND MARRY ME WOE IS MY PRINCESS LIFE.

Dora the Explorer is the closest thing to a halfway decent role model in pre-school children's literature and that's just SAD. Growing up, I read Nancy Drew, Anne of Green Gables, Little House on the Prairie, Babysitters Club, etc., and those had some pretty bad-ass chicks for their time period, BUT those are too old for her right now. I need something more in her age range.

Now here's where you come in. There HAS to be something else out there that I'm missing or didn't have the time to search for. Something that features a girl who doesn't need a prince, or isn't a servant, a ballerina, or whose biggest worry isn't that her hairbow matches her skirt (I'm looking at YOU, Fancy Nancy.)

Please tell me there's books out there. Aaaand, go!